What I've been doing

May. 4th, 2026 10:55 am[personal profile] dickinsons
dickinsons: (whump)
My neglect of Dreamwidth strikes again. I think I much prefer commenting or posting to other comms than to my own journal anyway, but I've neglected that as well. But I'm not giving up on coming here sometimes and updating lol. So let's see how this format works for me:

What I've been...
  • Doing: I've had a job since March and my contract ends in a couple of weeks. It was pretty busy early on to the point where I couldn't rest on weekends or holidays, but my workload right now is much more bearable. I've also continued studying German, although not as much as I should so I'm worried about my exams next month. Also, I'm finally trying to get my driver's license: I passed my theory exam back in December and I'm starting my driving lessons TOMORROW. Wish me luck.
  • Reading: this year I've read Box Hill, Witches Abroad, A Spindle Splintered, Project Hail Mary, and 17776. Not that much, but I've been pretty busy otherwise.
  • Watching: I've finally started my Classic Who watch and was so excited about it I made my own Excel sheet tracker. I've only watched 66 episodes so far, but I'm having fun. I'm also still constantly rewatching Blake's 7 with the GPSC gang, but I've given up on Emmerdale after almost a full year of watching it daily because it's really boring me to death lately. I'm also enjoying the miniseries Half Man, and watching CBS Beauty and the Beast for the first time.
  • Writing: I haven't really updated on my writing in ages, so let's link everything I've written since Christmas 2024:
  • Listening to: I've been trying to get back into listening to podcasts, but I've mainly listened to MBMBAM and The Adventure Zone: Royale. I need to buy better headphones and finally start listening to Blake's 7 audiostories. 
rocky41_7: (Default)

It seems timely to read about America’s past experience with unjust detention of people based on perceived threats to national security, so last night I finished Together in Manzanar by Tracy Slater, a true story about one of the families in a Japanese internment camp during WWII. The situation of the Yonedas was somewhat unusual as they were a mixed-race family—Karl Yoneda was a Japanese-American citizen and his wife Elaine was white and Jewish.

The Yonedas make for a very interesting case study in what happened in the camps because a) their mixed-race family status (including their 3-year-old son, Tommy) made it clear how little the American military had really thought about this plan, given how thrown-off they were by the mere existence of mixed-raced families; and b) Karl and Elaine had been vocal social activists well before they were imprisoned in the Manzanar camp, speaking up for labor rights, racial justice, and participating in Communist advocacy. They had the language, tools, and knowledge to speak up and speak out, and they did.

Slater has done her research and provides a thorough list of sources at the end of the book, which include interviews with the Yonedas’ grandchildren as well as their own diaries and news clippings.

Together in Manzanar provides an in-depth look at the politics within the Japanese-American community at this time, both leading up to the camps and within. It ably tackles the question of “Why did they go? Why wasn’t there resistance?” (There was.) For the Yonedas in particular, the importance of an Axis defeat was difficult to overstate: as horror stories of German atrocities in Europe began to trickle out, they knew that a German or Japanese take-over of the United States would almost undoubtedly lead to Elaine and their son Tommy going into a death camp.

It provides a three-dimensional look at the discussions on the ground at the time, as well as following up with details from interviews Karl and Elaine gave many years later reflecting back on their statements and advocacy at the time.

I wasn’t a huge fan of the writing style, but this is one of those books you read for content, not style. It jumps around from perspectives in a way that’s occasionally confusing, but I also appreciated getting some more background information on some of those in the camp who opposed the Yonedas’ view on cooperating with the US government. Slater does a good job showing how each person highlighted got to their perspective and why the tension both within the camps and in the world generally at the time put everyone so on edge.

The book is also helpful for reminding us of the names of the hateful racists (architect Karl Bendetsen) who propagated this plan and then later tried to lie about why it was implemented or how bad it was. It’s also a useful reminder that when these people were released, they didn’t get to just waltz back into the lives they had been living before being imprisoned. Many of them were forcibly resettled further into the US, away from the coastal cities where they had lived, and forced to restart their lives from scratch, away from their communities and businesses.

It just seemed like a particularly relevant time to remember this.


rocky41_7: (Default)

Yesterday on a lovely walk through then neighborhood I reached the end of The Last Hour Between Worlds by Melissa Caruso. This is fantasy/action novel, set in a world in “prime” reality, beneath which sits ever-descending “echo” layers of reality. The further down you go, the stranger and more dangerous things get. At a New Year’s party, things get unexpectedly tricky when the entire party is pulled down through the echoes.

Our protagonist is Kembral Thorne, a “hound” whose job is to retrieve people, animals, and other things that are pulled or “fall” into the echoes. This party is Kem’s first step back into society after having her first baby two months earlier.

Of course, when things start going wrong, Kem can’t help but get involved. It’s her job.

I’ll say again, I do love queer lit with adults. YA is great and I’m so happy that teens today have access to so much queer lit, but online queer book recs can skew very YA. Here, Kem is very much someone at least in her thirties—she’s got a baby, she’s reached a senior role in her career, and her concerns reflect this position in her life. While she and her quasi-rival Rika have the sort of skittish interactions you might expect from people who are into each other and unwilling to admit they are into each other, they don’t reach the level of comic avoidance or overwrought drama of teens or young adults.

I liked the ebb and flow of Kem and Rika’s relationship. These are two people who already have history and have kind of already had their big, relationship-ending squabble before we even get to this party, which is fun to unravel over the course of the evening. They have some cute moments, some artificially-amplified angst, but are generally enjoyable.

The worldbuilding here is fine. It’s serviceable for what the novel is doing, but we don’t really get a look at much else outside of the party except when Kem ventures out into the echoes, which becomes increasingly less frequent as they descend. There’s some fun stuff, some spooky stuff, some aesthetic stuff.

The book pushes a little hard on maintaining the status quo when the status quo isn’t that great (I think it could have made this more believable with more discussion, but the book is really more about the action than the political debate) and I did think one character’s fate was a cop-out, especially given the former. Violent change to the system is wrong but we’ll all shrug and smile when this criminal we couldn’t nail down conveniently dies without a trial.

On the whole, I enjoyed this one, but it’s nothing earth-shattering. I put the next book on my TBR though because I do want to see what Rika and Kem get up to next.


anneapocalypse: A blonde-haired Elezen character wearing a flower crown and glasses, grinning at a bluebird on her shoulder, with a tiny bluebird earring in the opposite ear. (ffxiv ariane bluebird)

Screenshot of a snowy Coerthan landscape with the sun setting behind Haurchefant's gravestone. In the lower left corner in all caps are the words 'Harsh Light.'

Fandom: Final Fantasy XIV
Rating: Mature
Archive Warnings: Major Character Death
Relationships: Haurchefant Greystone/Warrior of Light, Alphinaud Leveilleur & Warrior of Light, Unrequited Minfilia Warde/Warrior of Light, Unrequited Aymeric de Borel/Warrior of Light, Pre-Urianger Augurelt/Warrior of Light, Alisaie Leveilleur & Warrior of Light, Warrior of Light & Thancred Waters, Y'shtola Rhul & Warrior of Light, Midgardsormr & Warrior of Light, Hydaelyn & Warrior of Light, Urianger Augurelt & Warrior of Light, Minfilia Warde & Warrior of Light, Ardbert & Warrior of Light
Characters: Warrior of Light, Haurchefant Greystone, Alphinaud Leveilleur, Urianger Augurelt, Y'shtola Rhul, Thancred Waters, Emmanellain de Fortemps, Artoirel de Fortemps, Edmont de Fortemps, Alisaie Leveilleur, Minfilia Warde, Midgardsormr (Final Fantasy XIV), Tataru Taru, Ardbert (Final Fantasy XIV), Warriors of Darkness (Final Fantasy XIV), Scions of the Seventh Dawn, Unukalhai (Final Fantasy XIV)
Additional Tags: Grief/Mourning, Survivor Guilt, Elezen Warrior of Light, Female Warrior of Light, Healer Warrior of Ligh, Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Religious Angst, Depression, Patch 3.0: Heavensward Spoilers (Final Fantasy XIV), Patch 3.4: Soul Surrender Spoilers (Final Fantasy XIV), Canon-Typical Violence
Series: With Lilies and With Laurel
Length: 68,323/ 82,000
Chapter: 13/15

Summary:

A heartbroken Warrior of Light struggles to come to terms with loss, and the world she has been left to save.

Notes:

An early chapter this week since I'm traveling over the weekend!

If you're new here, please start with Chapter 1!

Final Fantasy XIV is owned by Square Enix. This is a non-commercial work of fanfiction.

( Read on AO3 )

...or below! )

Recent Reading: Cuckoo

Apr. 27th, 2026 09:45 pm[personal profile] rocky41_7
rocky41_7: (Default)

Wrapped up yet another horror novel last night, Gretchen Felker-Martin’s Cuckoo. This book is about a group of kids in 1995 who are sent to a conversion camp, experience The Horrors, and then reunite many years later to have another crack at taking The Horrors down.

First, I have to say the decision to set a horror novel in a conversion camp is kind of galaxy-brained, because it is a place that by design is traumatizing and horrifying. This book will make your skin crawl and your eyes tear up well before the monster enters the scene. There are seven protagonists and they come from all walks of life—gay kids, trans kids, kids from Christian families, kids from Jewish families, white kids, Asian kids, Latino kids, fat kids, mentally ill kids—but they all come from families who were willing to stuff them, sobbing and kicking and begging, into the back of a van and ship them off with a bunch of strangers to be “cured.”

And then there’s the monsters.

Generally I’m not a fan of “body snatcher” kind of horror stories, in the same way I’m not a fan of conspiracy theory stories, but I think it largely works here, because this is what the families want isn’t it? For their problem child to go away for a while and come back a new person, without all those icky traits mom and dad didn’t want. For the teens, watching the queer kids around them succumb to “curing” would feel like a kind of body-snatching—who are you and what have you done with the queer person I knew?

The book is also very gross, and I mean that not pejoratively, but factually. If you have a low tolerance for grossness, this one may not be for you. The monster and its ilk are nasty galore (see minor complaint below) and Felker-Martin does not pull punches about the grossness of human existence, particularly as an angry, horny, repressed teenager in a desperate situation. The characters here puke, piss, make out in public bathrooms, masturbate amidst their sleeping peers, eat pussy during menstruation, and are generally grody in the way teenagers are grody. I think grounding the book in these bodily realities works well given the nature of the horror, which is incredibly personal and physical.

I liked the teens themselves and I felt like they represented a decent spread of attitudes and behaviors from people in circumstances both similar and diverse. They exhibit many of the kinds of irritating and off-putting behaviors you’d expect from a group of young people who’ve already learned they must hide their true selves or be punished for it.

There were a couple of things that didn’t totally land for me though. First, I think the descriptions of the monster(s) are overdone sometimes. Not because it grossed me out too much but because yes okay, we get it, the thing is nasty, it’s ugly, it smells bad, it’s inchoate; can we move on? Also, I never felt like I had a real idea of what the thing(s) looked like, despite all the descriptions.

Second, the book jacket description makes it sound like the majority of the book will be the teens as adults, returning to the horrors they faced when they were young, but two thirds or more of the book is the actual events of the conversion camp. It makes the final third in their adulthood feel somewhat rushed.

However, on the whole, I liked this book and I’d be open to reading more from Felker-Martin. There are so many moments here where you want to hug these kids and take them somewhere safe, and I enjoyed the book’s balance of the power of love with the grim reality of the cost of life.


anneapocalypse: A blonde-haired Elezen character wearing a flower crown and glasses, grinning at a bluebird on her shoulder, with a tiny bluebird earring in the opposite ear. (Default)

We got some big Final Fantasy XIV news this weekend at Fanfest in Anaheim. If you want to watch it for yourself, you can do so here. The keynote presentation, beginning with the 8.0 teaser trailer, is at 59:30 and is around two hours long; the job system changes are explained in the developer panel at 6:11:48. Or, if you’d rather watch a shorter summary, here’s Meoni’s on the keynote and developer panel.

So here’s my initial thoughts! Yoshida really emphasized that all of this, especially the system changes, is still in development; a lot of this could change, and my opinions might as well.

On the trailer and the hints at the story… )

anneapocalypse: A headshot of Urianger in the Waking Sands. (ffxiv urianger waking sands)

Fandom: Final Fantasy XIV
Rating: Mature
Archive Warnings: Major Character Death
Relationships: Urianger Augurelt/Moenbryda Wilfsunnwyn, Urianger Augurelt & Moenbryda Wilfsunnwyn, Ardbert & Urianger Augurelt, Unrealized Ardbert/Urianger Augurelt, Pre-Urianger Augurelt/Warrior of Light
Characters: Urianger Augurelt, Moenbryda Wilfsunnwyn, Ardbert Hylfyst, Elidibus, Unukalhai, Tataru Taru, Minfilia Warde, Warrior of Light, Dewlala Dewla, Y'shtola Rhul, Yugiri Mistwalker, Thancred Waters, J'Rhoomale, Blanhaerz, Lamimi, Naillebert, Haneko Burneko
Additional Tags: Grief/Mourning, Angst, Religion, Isolation, Loneliness, Patch 3.4: Soul Surrender Spoilers (Final Fantasy XIV), Elezen Warrior of Light, Female Warrior of Light, Canon-Typical Violence, Guilt, Emotional Repression, Child Neglect, Childhood Memories, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Series: With Lilies and With Laurel
Length: 75,514 / 92,000
Chapter: 12/15

Summary:

Heartbroken after the loss of his dearest companion, Urianger labors to save two worlds in which he has never felt more alone.

Notes:

If you're new here, please start with Chapter 1!

Final Fantasy XIV is owned by Square Enix. This is a non-commercial work of fanfiction.

( Read on AO3 )

...or below! )

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